Back To Square One: The Analysis of my Week-Long Soul Searching

Upon further review, I needed more than 48 hours.

As I mentioned in my last post, the previous week at my job had been the most trying one to date.  Not only was I put on a performance plan but I also had to consider what exactly this performance plan meant for me going forward.  Was it a simple way to motivate me or was it a not-so-subtle way to let me know that I wasn't what the organization was looking for?  In truth, I personally couldn't say for sure one way or the other and instead of making a rash decision, I opted to give myself a full week to evaluate my choices.  In doing so, I wanted to see if the job itself would feel any different based on the past week's events.

My conclusion:  The job was no longer fun.

Throughout a normal work week, there are always inevitable highs and lows.  However, for the most part I enjoyed the work I was doing and because of that, I was able to endure both ends of the spectrum.  However, ever since my meeting with my boss, something changed both within me and in the way I was being treated.  My boss seemed to be delegating authority to our other director rather than me.  When I offered my opinion, it was greeted with an "Ok" without any further discussion.  When I needed to do something my boss said, "You should..." in a tone that seemed unusually annoyed or aggravated.

In addition, my own work simply wasn't the same.  For every important directorial act, I forced myself to quadruple check what I was doing, even though I knew I could do it right one time.  For my own calling, every single person that said no weighed on me like never before.  I felt pressure to perform and instead of being able to have good conversations like I had been doing, I instead found myself becoming annoyed with members who were unable to give financially.  At the end of the week, I was above expectation but only by about 5%.  In the previous weeks I had been between 50-60% above.  During those weeks, I was calling well because I was relaxed and because I was confident that I could successfully have good conversations.

On Friday as the directing team left the office, I turned and looked back for the sole reason that I couldn't imagine myself in this line of work for another 14 months.  In fact, I could barely imagine myself in this line of work for another 14 days and yet that would be the least that would be required of me.  However, right there and then when I was looking back and thinking about my future with the organization, the 14 days felt a whole lot better than 14 months.

So on Monday, I put in my two weeks notice.

My boss just nodded and gave me the paper work to fill out.  My co-worker just nodded.  However, I had reached a point of no return and this really was the only way for my time with the organization to end.  The last thing I wanted to do was be fired and I felt that that was a possibility going forward.  However by putting in my two weeks notice, I could leave on my terms.  It also allowed the organization to start planning to find my replacement, something I'm convinced was already in the works anyway.  Now however, they could begin the hiring process and wouldn't have to worry about doing it behind my back.  Lastly for me, I could focus on finishing out the job strong and leaving the organization with a good impression of me without burning any bridges.  Despite how this all will end, I don't hold any grudges and I do wish the organization well.  They're doing good work, but unfortunately they aren't staying true to their mission statement and that is a shame because it is a noble mission statement at that.

And now it's back to the drawing board and time for this millennial to wander once more.

Down And Out: Pondering My Future After A Rocky Week

The honeymoon is officially over.

After nine months at my new job, I've finally encountered my first rocky patch.  Unfortunately, I have found it to me more than simply a rough patch but rather a sign of things to come from this point going forward.

I guess I should give some background to the situation.  As a first year director, I am evaluated every quarter, or three months.  After my second evaluation in January, I was given two areas to focus on as a director:  My own calling and what were called foundational practices.  My own calling related to my director fundraising, for which I am required to do 8 hours per week.  At the second evaluation, I had the goal of calling at 25% above expectations, which was a goal set by my supervisor.  During my second evaluation, I was told that I reached this goal and that I was trending in the right direction.  For my third evaluation, it was determined that my goal as a caller was to be 40% above expectations.

The second area of focus is what is called foundational practices.  My supervisor defined these as things relating to daily office management like properly collecting and filing paperwork, processing returns, and evaluating employee performance.  At our second evaluation, this was stressed to me due to an incident that happened in December.  Each time we hire a new employee, we collect tax forms as well as I-9 forms from them and immediately fax that information to our national office in Boston.  Every so often for whatever reason, our national office fails to receive a form and they immediately e-mail the directing team to locate the form.  Nine times out of ten, we either check the employee's file for the form or get them to re-fill out the form their next shift.  Unfortunately in December, one of our employees quit during their training week right after we realize we were missing her I-9 form.  Since I was the one who collected the form, it was my responsibility to track her down and get her to fill out the information so we could give her her final paycheck.  However, she did not return our calls and thus, we had to figure out how to pay her without having her information.  It served as a prime example as to how and why these foundational practices were so important.

So this past Thursday when I had my third formal evaluation, I was well aware of the expectations.  In starting the evaluation, my director asked for my feedback as to how things were going.  I was honest in that I felt I was calling better and that I was also making a conscientious effort to do better with foundational practices.  My director said that for the last two months I had been calling at 48% above expectations, which was moving in the right direction.  She also mentioned that ever since the December incident, I hadn't lost or misplaced any new member information, which was a also a step in the right direction.  However, despite both of these improvements, she told me that I was going to be placed on a director improvement plan for the next month for both my calling and my foundational practices.  If these both did not improve, I would be terminated.

I was absolutely blindsided by this.

When I politely asked for the reasoning behind this decision, my director told me that even though I was calling better my performance since the start of my tenure still wasn't where it should have been after nine months of staff.  She also mentioned a couple of foundational concerns, including the aforementioned December incident.  When I told her that I felt good that that mistake hadn't been repeated, she essentially told me that while that was true it still should have never happened in the first place.  She also mentioned some other things that I considered irrelevant like one time in February where one of my interviews had taken longer than expected and she told me that the interview had lasted too long.  I took note of that and made sure that all of my interviews from that time forward where done in a timely manner, which they were.  Overall, when I left the evaluation I was dumbstruck as to how and why I ended up on the improvement plan.

The past forty-eight hours have left me reflecting long and hard about my job.  It's not that I can't take criticism, I can definitely do that.  However, what struck me the most about the evaluation is how short-sighted it seemed.  The message was essentially this:  We expect you to be a great fundraiser who never makes mistakes.  To me, that is an unrealistic expectation, especially for a first-time director.  For me, I know that it took me a while to become a good fundraiser and I've talked about this struggle in previous blogs.  I also think that with any new job there is a learning curve where unintentional mistakes are made.  What's important with these mistakes is that they are addressed and corrected and that they don't happen again.

In addition, I am also concerned about how this will affect my job going forward.  Not only will I have to worry about being under the microscope for the next month but I also now have reservations about how the organization sees me.  Do they see me as someone who is incompetent?  Do they see me as someone who is an inadequate fundraiser?  Or do they see the intangibles I bring to the work?  The things I do that are immeasurable like building relationships with the staff and helping office performance improve over 12% from where it was last year?

For now, the main question I am considering is whether or not it's worth being with an organization that potentially doesn't value the work that I do for another 15 months.  I am a man of my word and I want to finish my two-year commitment to the job and the organization.  However, if they don't see what I bring to the table, especially after giving up my previous career for the job then I don't know if it's worth my investment.  I believe in what the organization does and what it stands for but if I'm in a position that limits my professional growth for the next 15 months then I am going to have to take a long, hard look at whether or not it will be worth it.

In other words, I'm going to be doing a lot of soul searching between now and Monday.



  

 

Level Up: Reaching Adulthood After All These Years

I'm officially an adult.  

It certainly didn't happen overnight.  However, as more and more time has passed I've come to the undeniable truth that yes, I have in fact, reached adulthood.  

It was bound to happen eventually.  I tried to delay it as long as I could.  I still listen to the same music I listened to as a teenager including artists like Britney Spears, N*Sync, Enrique Iglesias, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers.  I still watch lowbrow comedy shows like The Simpsons, Family Guy, and Archer.  The list of movies I have watched the previous three Saturdays is as follows:  Finding Nemo, Beerfest, and Office Space.  My latest Facebook post showcased Eddie Murphy's ridiculously awesome 80s music video for "Party All The Time"  and I am personally giddy for the season premier of "Game of Thrones" in just under 24 hours.  

And yet, try as I could to delay it, I now know that becoming an adult was inevitable.  

As a graduating college senior eight years ago, I remember our commencement speaker, David Brooks, talking about the fact that we weren't entering the real world; we had actually been there the last four years.  I thought about this and realized Brooks was right.  I mean, for four years I had been in charge of my own physical well-being.  I got up all by myself and got myself to and from class.  I did all the assignments by the due date and took all the exams when scheduled.  I spent a semester in Spain all by myself and spent a semester as a student-teacher at a local area high school.  I was able to clothe and feed myself, not (totally) destroy my liver, stay disease free, and make livelong friends for four years on a college campus where I knew nobody when I first started out.

However, when I look back on my college self, I realized I wasn't an adult quite yet.  

Being an adult requires varying levels of responsibility.  As a college student, I had some of these.  However, now that I am in my eighth year in the workforce I now see that much more was needed in my metamorphosis into adulthood.  Bills have to be paid on a monthly basis including rent, credit card, cell phone, gas & electric, renter's insurance, car insurance, and health insurance.  Yearly responsibilities include paying taxes and registering my automobile.  In addition to these new responsibilities, the ones I faced in college still hold true as well:  I still have to feed, clothe, and bathe myself, I have to successfully wake up on time, I have to stay healthy and exercise, and I have to perform at my job while finding creative outlets for myself outside of my job to stay sane as well.  

But most of all, I need to be my own person to be a true adult.  

This last realization struck home about three weeks ago at a work retreat at Pismo Beach, just north of San Luis Obispo in California's central coast.  It was a chance for members of the organization to get together and discuss our successes so far this year and preview our upcoming summer campaigns.  As has been the tradition, those with families and young children stayed together while the staff without significant others stayed in a separate unit, one which ended up resembling a spring break house with 20 people staying together in a five-bedroom home.  

To be honest, I was not the oldest person in the home.  However, I definitely felt removed from the younger generation of activists, many of whom were one to two years out of college.  I wasn't a square my any means; I definitely enjoyed a six-pack on Friday evening of Sam Adams and I also enjoyed some margaritas and mimosas that were offered to be by my younger counterparts throughout the weekend.  Yet, when push came to shove on Saturday evening and several of my counterparts set up a dance party in our garage at midnight, there was only one thing on my mind:  

What time I needed to get up the next day to make the five-hour drive back to Sacramento.  

And that's when I began to realize I had reached adulthood:  The responsibility factor.  The fact that my priorities are different than those six, seven years my younger.  When I go out with friends or to a bar, it's only for a couple drinks.  When I have free time, necessities rather than extravagances come first:  Running to the bank, buying groceries, doing laundry, or getting gas now become my top weekend priorities.  When those necessities are completed, then, and only then do I focus on my hobbies:  Working out, hiking, biking, blogging, and reading among others.  It is in those priorities that I have finally realized that I am now an adult.  

Now, to be fair there are multiple levels of "adultness" to be had.  I don't have a significant other, I don't own a home, I don't have a pet, and I don't have children of my own.  But I have come to realize that I've reached a certain point in my life and that's perfectly okay:  It's the natural progression of one's professional career.  Priorities change.  For me, my most important priority is doing a good job in my new line of work.  After that, it's making sure that my life is in order through my own health and finances.  Then, last but certainly not least, comes the social aspect:  Being with friends and family, staying in touch with those who aren't in my immediate vicinity, and doing things that I have found make me personally happy.  

There are worse things in life than becoming an adult.  

  

Good Call: Simple Advice for a Complex Activity

"You're just having a conversation."

Never have five words been so simple and yet so effective.

At the beginning of January my calling had taken a turn for the worse.  After calling better in November, the month of December ended with my performance down and down to the point where my lead director was concerned.  Through nearly four and a half months on the job my overall performance was right at expectations.  Again, as directors we are never in jeopardy of losing our jobs due to our calling performance but on the flip side the expectation is that we are among the top callers in the office.  Being right at minimum expectation meant that I was not performing where I needed to be in terms of setting a good example for the office.

As disheartening as this was, I also knew that I was setting myself up for a disappointing performance review in just over two months.  In discussing my performance with my lead director, we had set a goal of being 25% above expectations for the month of January.  Seeing as the month of December I had been -15% below expectations, the task seemed daunting and unrealistic for me to turn my performance around in such a short amount of time.

Then I got those five simple words.

The words came from the other assistant director, a calling veteran of nearly seven years.  She had seen me go through my initial ups-and-downs and told me that that was a phrase that had always helped her when she struggled in her calling.  It was simple, yes, but it also entailed everything that I had learned about the job so far:  Having a good greeting, being conversational, being persistent, and being a good active listener.  All of these skills were essentially embedded into the idea of having a good conversation with people.  If you're having a good conversation then you're going to have a good, pleasant greeting.  If you're having a good conversation then you're going to be a good active listener.  If you're having a good conversation then you should be able to ask the member to get involved at a financial level that he or she is comfortable with.

In short, if you're having good conversations then the rest will fall into place.

And fall it did.  For the month of January I ended up being 29% above expectations.  My lead director was so impressed that she set the goal for me to be 40% above expectations for the month of February.  She encouraged me to continue to do whatever it was that was working and to continue to improve my performance so that not only would I be performing well as a director but also so that my tips and pep talks would be more powerful with our callers if they knew I was personally performing at a high level.  It would give my own words of wisdom more legitimacy if the callers were able to see that was I was saying would lead to positive results.

Although the majority of success has stemmed from those simple five words, the success has also bred further success.  My own expectations of my calling have increased so that I now hold myself to a higher standard because I know of what I am capable of.  When I was struggling during my calling, there would be entire four-hour shifts where I would only get a couple of people involved.  Now, I'm at a point where if I don't get at least six people involved during a calling session then I feel that I have not lived up to expectations.  I also have set lofty goals in terms of how much money I am able to pledge each week.  Three weeks ago, I pledge $980 which was my new personal best.  However, it was tantalizingly close to $1000 so that amount has now become my new benchmark.  Even if I am well above quota during a four-hour shift, if I only raise a couple hundred dollars I know that I am well off my goal.  That is something that was unthinkable for me nearly a month ago.

All and all, I think my main takeaway from being a telemarketer is that the process is very counter-intuitive.  For someone like myself that is very left-brained and needs things in a logical order, this has been a difficult transition.  And yet, the results are there.  The way to become successful?  Keep it simple.  Don't overthink it.  Have good conversations.  That's it, end of story.  All of the other things will slide into place if you do these three simple things.  If you can do them, then you can be a good caller.

And have those good conversations.

Time Goes On: Thoughts And Reflections On MyThird Decade Of Life

Today is my 30th birthday.

There, I said it.  I have survived on Earth while it has rotated around the sun 31 times.  I have survived 18 years under my parents' roof, four years at college, including a semester in Europe, and eight years of somehow, some way being able to provide for myself while still receiving amazing support from my parents and extended family.  I have managed to receive an undergraduate and master's degree, have been immersed in two different career fields, have friends and family spread all throughout the country as well as internationally, and have managed to do all this with no real blueprint as to how to do so.

All and all, I'd say these first 30 years have gone by pretty well.

And so, I'd like to take this particular blog to note some of the highlights of my previous decade.  It was hard to narrow down the list of amazing experiences I've had from 2004 to 2014 but I felt the need to do so to help me reflect on my life thus far.  I can honestly say that I had no idea I'd be where I am today at age 30.  I had hoped that I'd be settled down by now with a child in hand.  That ship has sailed so I've finally realized that life happens and it gets in the way of, well, life.  You can't give yourself a set timeline to accomplish things because if you do you either force things or feel like a failure if you don't achieve them.  Going into my 30's, I hope to keep an open mind and to expect the unexpected because if you had told me that my 20's would have looked like they did at age 19, I never would have believed you.  That being said, here are some gems from my roaring 20's, which came to an end early this morning.

A Spanish Adventure - My 20's started out by spending four months attending Spain's oldest university, La Universidad de Salamanca.  In addition to taking classes and living with a host family, I was able to travel all throughout Spain and even ventured to Paris, Italy, and Portugal for international experiences.  My semester abroad not only improved my Spanish and helped land me two teaching jobs, but it also gave me enduring friendships that were forged by club hopping at 4 AM in the city that never sleeps.  The abroad experience taught me that even if you don't know where exactly you're going (literally and figuratively) as long as you project and air of confidence, people will just let you be.  Good advice for any travelers, both foreign and domestic.

A College Graduate - Upon returning from abroad, I rejoined the life of a college student which consisted of studying, boozing, and chasing women in that order.  Despite irreplaceable liver damage from my fraternity days and an unpaid internship my last semester (read:  student teaching) I somehow, some way managed to graduate with honors from one of the most rigorous and demanding colleges in the country.  Obviously, the fact I was an education major helped my GPA, but I also made a conscientious effort not to "waste a buttload of my parent's money" as the great Van Wilder once said.  I definitely worked hard and partied hard and I feel that my grades were justified by the good social life I was able to have at college.  Do I have regrets?  Sure, everybody does.  But by and large, I felt I made the most of my college experience.

The Other Side of Public Education - I grew up as a privileged White male.  For the first twenty-two years of my life I had no idea this was even a thing.  It was not until my first teaching job that I realized that not everybody had the same educational opportunities as I did growing up.  My first teaching job at a low-income, high-poverty school shook me to the bones and it did so because it shattered my belief that everyone in America had equal opportunities.  I saw middle school students that had already given up on school because they knew they would just be dropping out in a couple years anyway.  Thirteen-year-old kids with no hope and no future is not something I had ever experienced growing up.  And yet, they were perfectly justified in their worldview.  The system was stacked against them from day one.  This idea of an unequal playing field would play a huge role in my eventual decision to leave the profession.

Becoming A Master of Education - Earning my master's degree was something I had always wanted to do.  So, after two years of classroom experience, I went running back to my parents begging them for money to pay for two additional years of education.  They happily (begrudgingly?) obliged.  And so, at the ripe old age of 24, I was again in the classroom, this time as a student.  The highlights of my master's program were the friendships I made as well as the opportunity to spend three weeks in Kenya in the summer of 2010.  The downside of my program was that I didn't receive the kind of education I wanted to.  Sure, my GPA was stellar, and I felt I mastered the classroom material, but overall the program wasn't structured in a way where I could immediately put the information to use to help me improve my daily teaching.  For me, my master's program ended up being a drawer full of handouts, reference sheets, and textbooks and not much else.  I was appreciative of the extra money the degree afforded my in my teaching paycheck, buy overall I don't feel the program helped me grow as an educator the way in which I would have liked to.


The Charter School Alternative - Leave it to me to quit my job during the worst economic recession in nearly eighty years.  And yet, that's exactly what I did when I moved out to California in the summer of 2009.  With California having no money to hire new teachers the only places where I could even be considered were charter schools.  Charter schools sell themselves as an alternative to traditional public schools.  They have more resources, better technology, and smaller class sizes which undoubtedly aid student learning.  The downside?  The staff at charter schools are worked to death.  The expectations placed upon them are beyond ridiculous.  The school administration cuts corners to ensure that the schools stay open and continue to receive public funds.  That combination of being overworked and under-appreciated all while watching as kids are essentially being taken advantage of became unbearable for me and so after five years at three separate charter schools, I had no choice but to call it quits.

Love And Marriage - Toward the end of my 20s, I was able to score roughly a dozen invites to various weddings throughout the country for a variety of friends and family.  These weddings took me to such places as New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Maryland, North Carolina, Colorado, and California and there were also a couple of bachelor parties thrown in which took me to Florida and, of course, Las Vegas.  I'm not ashamed to admit that weddings may be one of my favorite things to experience.  Seeing people you've come to know and love become united with someone else is definitely a beautiful experience and the fact that people from all over come together to celebrate the happy couple's love just makes it that much more rewarding.  I enjoy not only being able to reflect on the time I spent growing up with my friends, but I also relish the opportunity to meet people from their lives that, like me, were fortunate enough to have crossed paths with a member of the happy couple.

Friends And Family - Throughout my 20s, the consummate theme for me was that of friends and family.  I can say that, especially tonight after receiving a phone call from my parents at work, being taken to dinner by my grandparents and uncle and then receiving 50+ Facebook posts all regarding my 30th birthday.  It is through my upbringing, my schooling, and my jobs that I have met a variety of crazy, unorthodox, kooky, loving people that have touched my life in so many positive ways.  Throughout my wandering journey, they have always been there for me and I'm so grateful to have such a solid support system in place.  Technology has made this easier, but I fully credit my friends and family who have reached out to me and supported me throughout my journey through this crazy thing called life.  It is because of them that I have survived as long as I have and that I feel as fulfilled as I do.

Three decades down.  Seven more to go.

The journey continues.

'Tis the Season: Adding New Staff for the New Year

As we approach the winter holiday season, there's a lot going on at the office.

First things first.  I know all my loyal readers (all six of you) are dying to know how my calling is going.  Well, the truth is I am, in fact, calling better.  I've have been up for three of the past four weeks with last week being my best week in over two months.  As I mentioned in my last blog post, I felt I wasn't that far off and this assessment ended up being spot on.  With a couple of minor tweaks, I finally found my stride and now am a good (but not great) caller.

The key I found was to be engaging on the phone.  This isn't easy to do but for me I've found I'm most effective the less robotic I sound.  Therefore, I make a conscientious effort to engage the members on the phone and I try my best to tell a good story with the script I have to read.  The second part is to listen, nay listen to the members.  This is definitely something that comes with time.  You have a large number of people to talk to and yet at the same time, you have to be actively listening to the members and hearing what they have to say.  If you listen close enough, they can give you clues about themselves and you can use these clues to relate to them over the phone.

These past few weeks, I've had some genuinely positive calls where I have talked with members about various things.  Through this experience, I've learned that as much as doing this kind of calling can be frustrating, it can also lead you to some memorable experiences.  I talked to a woman in Pennsylvania who had been an environmental activist for nearly 50 years.  I talked to a woman in Iowa who mentioned an interesting National Geographic documentary on icebergs.  I talked to a man in Minnesota who gave a door donation because it was a pretty college student asking for money.  All of these people had stories to tell, it was up to me to listen to them.  And because I listened, all three contributed financially to the cause.

And so with the calling issue behind me, I've been focused on our office's next major push:  Recruitment.  The challenge with running a call center is that there is near constant turn over.  People leave for a variety of reasons:  School, better job opportunities, family issues, or they are asked to leave due to low performance.  I've been at my job for three months now and there are only eight callers still in the office that were there at the start of my tenure.  Currently, we have twelve callers where we need closer to seventeen to hit our target goals.  Therefore, we have been busy recruiting new members these past two weeks.

The recruitment process is fairly simple.  We post ads on Craigslist and then the floodgates open.  Literally.  Last week we posted our first ad and within five minutes we had our first job call.  At the end of the week we had nearly 100 applicants for the available positions.  Once we receive a job call or an online application, we then talk to the person on the phone.  We ask him or her some basic questions to see if they'd be a good fit to come in for an interview.  If they are, we invite them either in the morning or in the afternoon for the interview.

The first interview is in two parts:  The first part is simply an overview of the organization and the job itself.  After that is one-on-one interviews conducted by a director.  Last week I ended up conducting roughly fifteen of these.  These are short 5-8 minute interviews where the candidate gets an opportunity to discuss himself or herself and reads a short script to test their reading ability.  If a candidate excels he or she is invited back.  If not, the candidate is thanked for their time and wished the best in their job search.

At this point, I've come to recognize what makes a good candidate.  In addition to sounding good with a script read I also look for someone who is willing to learn and also is passionate about the opportunity that is presented.  This kind of work simply can't be a job.  In order to excel, you need to be engaged with what you're doing.  It's not simply selling credit cards or auto loans:  It's selling people an idea where the result is a movement for positive social change.  The best candidates discuss how they are attracted for this kind of work because they can use it to educate others and to make a positive difference in the world.

That is the kind of person we initially look for.  However, even those particular traits do not ensure success at the job.  Which is why we also have a training week where the candidates are calling on the floor.  They have support, but also are given a large chunk of time to go out there and do the same kind of membership calling the rest of us are doing.  Inevitably, some of the most passionate candidates simply can't handle the rigor of the job and unfortunately are let go.  It's one thing to want to be successful and enact positive social change, it's another thing entirely to flat out be told no, that this particular person wants nothing to do with your movement.

And so, as we head toward the Thanksgiving holiday, we are looking to add a handful of new staff.  In the revolving door that is our office, some will join our full-time staff while other veterans may suddenly leave us.  It's the way of the world for the life of political activists.  There are those that are on your side but inevitably some leave for one reason or another.  If any of history's great activists such as Gandhi, MLK, or Chavez have taught us, it's simply about getting a volume of people involved so that if some flounder, more are on the way so the movement doesn't die.

That's why we are always recruiting in our office.  To keep the movement alive.

Good Call, Bad Call: The Ups and Downs of Telephone Outreach

It's official.  I have hit my first rough patch at my new job.  

As I described last time, a large portion (roughly 40%) of my job is, in fact, getting out onto the floor with the callers and calling our members.  This is important for two main reasons:  First off, to show that we directors aren't simply phantom figures that sit in our office for eight hours a day while our callers slave away at their stations.  Second, it's important for the directors to serve as role models for our callers to show them what good calling both looks and sounds like.  It is the ongoing expectation that the directors are the best callers in the office.  

This expectation is definitely fair.  As directors, we do a lot of staff management and that staff management often times relates to the performance of our callers.  We have to not only analyze performance but be able to listen in carefully to our callers to match up specific skills needed to increase performance.  In our office we have people making minimum wage all the way up to callers who are maxed out in terms of salary and, of course, we have the vast majority of people somewhere in between.  Our goal as directors is to work with all of our callers both individually as well as in small group settings to maximize their potential and it's important that we ourselves have the acquired skills and knowledge to then pass on to our callers to help them succeed.  

However, that is a lot easier said than done.  

This past week, I officially passed 100 calling hours.  According to Malcolm Gladwell, I only have 9,900 more hours before I am officially an expert.  Unfortunately, the organization I currently work for hasn't given me a two-hundred week window so instead they are looking for me to be a consistent caller at this point.  Things started out well and I had a good stretch of three straight weeks in September where I was one of the top callers in the office.  Unfortunately, I am not in the midst of having a three-week stretch where I have been one of the poorer callers in the office and this bad stretch just happened to culminate with the national director's on-site visit to our office last week.  

Timing never has been my thing.  

Fortunately both the national director and my fellow directing team has been supportive of me.  My fellow directors have given me positive feedback including helping me re-adjust my mindset when it came to calling.  My issue up through last week was the fact that I am extremely hard on myself and I expect myself to succeed in what I do as long as I put in enough time and effort.  I am used to life endeavors where I can see noticeable progress as long as work is put in whether it's something like running, or lifting weights, or in my teaching performance by looking at classroom averages on tests.  However, when it came to calling I found that there was no real rhyme or reason as to why I was up for three weeks and then down for three weeks.  I felt like an all-star baseball player, marred in an 0 for 25 slump.  

However, unlike baseball there is no film to analyze.  

Which is what makes calling such a challenging endeavor.  A large part of it is mental and you literally have to have the "memory of a goldfish" as my fellow director so aptly described.  You can be told off during one call and then two seconds later you have to greet a new person with a happy, cheerful tone.  Sometimes, you can do everything right and the member still won't be able to contribute financially to the campaign.  Sometimes a member will go off on you for no apparent reason.  Sometimes a member will want to become involved but won't be able to due to various life circumstances.  All this, and yet as a caller you have to do everything in your power to forget the past minute and do it all over again.  

For four hours at a time.  

At of late last week, I personally felt like I was beginning to call better even though my numbers didn't indicate it.  In addition to regular member calling we have also been doing some GOTV calling on a ballot measure in Oregon to label GMOs.  This kind of calling involves us actually engaging in members and trying to persuade them to vote for the measure.  For me, this has been a good opportunity to sit back and think about the purpose of calling.  That purpose is essentially to tell a good story and to convince people to get involved in what you are working on.  For the ballot measure in Oregon, the purpose is to convince people that GMOs should be labeled and that they should actively work to ensure that this measure passes.  This is the first time I've had a chance to do this kind of calling and it has helped me shift my perspective on calling to that of being a good, engaging and persuasive caller with a higher objective in mind.  

In addition, I've also begun to think about my strengths as a caller and to try and utilize those.  As a native New Englander, I know that I talk fast and so I made it a habit to slow down when I first started calling.  However, when I was struggling the past couple weeks I noticed that often times I wasn't even getting through my script and that somehow I had become less engaging over the phone.  This past week, I sped up my script read and found that I had opportunities to get through much more of the script and to engage people longer about the issues.  I began to realize that I will never sound "sweet" or "kind" as some of our female callers can do so well but what I can do it to be an engaging caller on the phone.  I can talk passionately about the issues, which is why I got into this line of work in the first place.  I feel that if I can utilize this passion going forward then I have the chance to be a much more engaging voice to talk with over the phone.  

Only time will tell if I have, in fact, turned a corner in my calling.  I feel like I am close, but again, calling is such an imperfect art form that there is no way to tell for sure.  All I know is that I am tired of not performing at the level I am capable of and the level I need to be at to properly do my job.  Right now, I feel like an English teacher who constantly writes grammatical errors on the board and his students begin to wonder if he even knows what he's doing.  I don't like that feeling.  I want my fellow directors and the national director to see me perform at the level I am capable of.  In short, I want to be recognized for being good at all aspects of my job.

All I need to do is just go out there and do it.